and disagreement help me a lot.
Wrestle wrestle.
Tomorrow is the last day of my freshman year. How was it, Chris?
Man, I never expected high school to be what I thought it was in the 6th grade, or even the 8th. Or even now, it brings new things each moment spent there.
Do you remember your freshman year?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
???
Every week at Merge, I get this nostalgic feeling. Or rather a hope that may or may not come soon. I think about the people coming in and out of my life. I think of how I've grown since my first day through those doors. And i reflect on who I am now. God tells us in Ecclesiastes 7:10 "Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions". Hah, most of Ecclesiastes is just a thought-shaker, and some times a thought killer, but generally a thought provoker. I can't go on understanding that I am being refined everyday. Or understanding the God of the universe is making my lungs expand and collapse. In fact, no one can really comprehend. It's just something hard to remember. But I feel like I used to know. Is it wrong ever thinking that you were better in the past than you were now? Could I get inspired the way I used to? Or even feel like the past was better to motivate my future to become better ahead? I feel like it has a lot to do with my being unwilling to take the time to spend with God; a recent struggle. Although I tell others "God can take care of this" or "Pray about it, really. It helps" I don't always practice what I preach often anymore. But when I do I remember why those words are the first that come to my mind.
It's funny how I can go without reading for days, pick up a book, and never want to put it down. But then it's the same for another few days. It reminds me a lot of when C.S. Lewis writes in "The Screwtape Letters", how Screwtape tells Wormwood that as long as he keeps his thoughts in his head and does not put it into action, then it's all opposite of the Kingdom.
I pray for wisdom each night. And I get opportunities. I just need initiative. Please pray for that for me.
2 more days left of school! Finals tomorrow and wednesday. I can make it!
It's funny how I can go without reading for days, pick up a book, and never want to put it down. But then it's the same for another few days. It reminds me a lot of when C.S. Lewis writes in "The Screwtape Letters", how Screwtape tells Wormwood that as long as he keeps his thoughts in his head and does not put it into action, then it's all opposite of the Kingdom.
I pray for wisdom each night. And I get opportunities. I just need initiative. Please pray for that for me.
2 more days left of school! Finals tomorrow and wednesday. I can make it!
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Insane Day
For seniors, today was the last school day of the year.
Which means...
CHAOS
That's food fight #2.
And people throwing water bottles and food from the balcony was insane.
It was something weird though, like everyone wanted to do it. Even the nerdy kids!
Haha.
Came home, enjoyed the rest of the weather. It's been beautiful these past two days.
Went to dinner at La Casa Blanca with Alex Hallie and Tallia.
It's always fun with those guys.
This is all I have energy for!
I"m going to bed,
Nate's Grad party tomorrow!
woo!
Goodnight
Which means...
CHAOS
That's food fight #2.
And people throwing water bottles and food from the balcony was insane.
It was something weird though, like everyone wanted to do it. Even the nerdy kids!
Haha.
Came home, enjoyed the rest of the weather. It's been beautiful these past two days.
Went to dinner at La Casa Blanca with Alex Hallie and Tallia.
It's always fun with those guys.
This is all I have energy for!
I"m going to bed,
Nate's Grad party tomorrow!
woo!
Goodnight
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
There's something I'm not catching everyday
That I used to be able to see
Or maybe, i just see that there's more to be found
in this day labeled May 21st, 2008
and every "bag" for each day after
i can toss it over my shoulder and carry it the easy way
or pull it up to my chin with both arms
and feel just how full a day can be
good or bad
growing or shrinking
but always with wisdom
And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Or maybe, i just see that there's more to be found
in this day labeled May 21st, 2008
and every "bag" for each day after
i can toss it over my shoulder and carry it the easy way
or pull it up to my chin with both arms
and feel just how full a day can be
good or bad
growing or shrinking
but always with wisdom
And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Is Christ Divided?
What I mean is this:
One of you says, "I follow Paul"
Another, "I follow Apollos"
Another, "I follow Cephas"
and still another, "I follow Christ
Is Chris divided?
Was Paul sacrificed for You?
Were you baptized into the name of Paul?
Christ didn't send me to baptize
but to preach the gospel.
Sure, I planted the seed, and Apollos watered it
But God made it grow.
So neither he who plants
nor he who waters is anything
but only God, who makes things grow.
We're all following the same guy, right?
One of you says, "I follow Paul"
Another, "I follow Apollos"
Another, "I follow Cephas"
and still another, "I follow Christ
Is Chris divided?
Was Paul sacrificed for You?
Were you baptized into the name of Paul?
Christ didn't send me to baptize
but to preach the gospel.
Sure, I planted the seed, and Apollos watered it
But God made it grow.
So neither he who plants
nor he who waters is anything
but only God, who makes things grow.
We're all following the same guy, right?
Saturday, May 17, 2008
If my parents told me
that we were moving soon,
i don't think i'd mind so much
not that i wouldn't miss anybody here or anything
but there's been so many opportunities for me to go
yet all i could think of was friends, high school, and i was scared
but now i'd sure like a change in scenery
i think i stated this earlier, but
i wish i never got used to anything
i wish that everyday i came to school, it felt like the first day
where everything was new unfamiliar
i had no expectations from any teacher
or when it's my birthday or new years or christmas
i wish i actually got excited
or when i'm on a plane, like the first time
reading a book like i just learned to read
hearing a song as if i'd never heard it
falling asleep like i just moved into a new house
taking pictures like i hadn't taken one before
to a concert, amazed the same as my first one
conversation with friends, just as interested in them as the first day we met
with conversation still raw, and nothing watered down
falling in love with everything every time i come in contact it
3 weeks
just 3 more weeks
i don't think i'd mind so much
not that i wouldn't miss anybody here or anything
but there's been so many opportunities for me to go
yet all i could think of was friends, high school, and i was scared
but now i'd sure like a change in scenery
i think i stated this earlier, but
i wish i never got used to anything
i wish that everyday i came to school, it felt like the first day
where everything was new unfamiliar
i had no expectations from any teacher
or when it's my birthday or new years or christmas
i wish i actually got excited
or when i'm on a plane, like the first time
reading a book like i just learned to read
hearing a song as if i'd never heard it
falling asleep like i just moved into a new house
taking pictures like i hadn't taken one before
to a concert, amazed the same as my first one
conversation with friends, just as interested in them as the first day we met
with conversation still raw, and nothing watered down
falling in love with everything every time i come in contact it
3 weeks
just 3 more weeks
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Time Time Time
With summer less than 2 weeks away, I feel like i'll be handed six weeks. Of rest, of heartache, of renewal, we'll see.
The first time I ever came to cornerstone, Jr High and High School were combined on a Wednesday night.
I remember seeing a lot of people I weren't sure should be there, and saw some familiar faces.
I remember there was pizza and candy. And Kajabe Can Can.
But, I remember Ryan Guard speaking (When you start speaking again, you should use this. No one will have to know :p)
"Imagine you were given $86,000 each day. You couldn't put it in savings, you couldn't burry it in a whole and dig it up the next day. Whatever you spent with the money lasted for a day, and at the end of the day, you gave the money back, and started all over with $86,000 the next day."
The message continued, leading on the point where there are 86,000 seconds in a day. How do we spend our time?
"If you wanna know the value of ten years, ask a divorced couple.
If you wanna know the value of four years, ask a high school gradute
If you wanna know the value of one year, ask a student who failed a final.
If you wanna know the value of nine months, ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
If you wanna know the value of one month ask a grounded teenager.
If you wanna know the value of one hour, ask the couple waiting to meet.
If you wanna know the value of one minute, ask a someone who has missed the train, bus or plane.
If you wanna know the value of one-second, ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
"
It comes back to me so clearly now because it was just after summer almost two years ago. And once I heard this message, I wondered what I had spent the past 6 weeks doing? There's value to time. It's not exactly money, but I guess it's close. My financial standings with my family isn't the best right now, and it looks like Hume will be the only major trip of the summer. I'm so so thankful of that. I just wish I could really see the value of my time. I know It has value, but, unfortunately, I'm one of those that has to have something happen for me to really understand in some cases. I wish so often I could hand my phone and my computer over and say "I'm done! I don't need these nor want these. They distract me from everything." Although I know they're good tools, I misuse them. It's 11, and I've been hackin away at this keyboard since I got up form my nap at 7. I guess it's discipline, isn't it? Things are okay to use, I just need to discipline myself.
But really, I want to get out there this summer. I think satan's biggest tool is putting things in your mind, but never letting you follow through with them. I want to follow through. Give me some ideas!
If you actually read through all of this, you must be super desperate. But that's very kind! :)
Tell me what you think,
Chris
The first time I ever came to cornerstone, Jr High and High School were combined on a Wednesday night.
I remember seeing a lot of people I weren't sure should be there, and saw some familiar faces.
I remember there was pizza and candy. And Kajabe Can Can.
But, I remember Ryan Guard speaking (When you start speaking again, you should use this. No one will have to know :p)
"Imagine you were given $86,000 each day. You couldn't put it in savings, you couldn't burry it in a whole and dig it up the next day. Whatever you spent with the money lasted for a day, and at the end of the day, you gave the money back, and started all over with $86,000 the next day."
The message continued, leading on the point where there are 86,000 seconds in a day. How do we spend our time?
"If you wanna know the value of ten years, ask a divorced couple.
If you wanna know the value of four years, ask a high school gradute
If you wanna know the value of one year, ask a student who failed a final.
If you wanna know the value of nine months, ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
If you wanna know the value of one month ask a grounded teenager.
If you wanna know the value of one hour, ask the couple waiting to meet.
If you wanna know the value of one minute, ask a someone who has missed the train, bus or plane.
If you wanna know the value of one-second, ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond, ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
"
It comes back to me so clearly now because it was just after summer almost two years ago. And once I heard this message, I wondered what I had spent the past 6 weeks doing? There's value to time. It's not exactly money, but I guess it's close. My financial standings with my family isn't the best right now, and it looks like Hume will be the only major trip of the summer. I'm so so thankful of that. I just wish I could really see the value of my time. I know It has value, but, unfortunately, I'm one of those that has to have something happen for me to really understand in some cases. I wish so often I could hand my phone and my computer over and say "I'm done! I don't need these nor want these. They distract me from everything." Although I know they're good tools, I misuse them. It's 11, and I've been hackin away at this keyboard since I got up form my nap at 7. I guess it's discipline, isn't it? Things are okay to use, I just need to discipline myself.
But really, I want to get out there this summer. I think satan's biggest tool is putting things in your mind, but never letting you follow through with them. I want to follow through. Give me some ideas!
If you actually read through all of this, you must be super desperate. But that's very kind! :)
Tell me what you think,
Chris
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Momma's Day
Haha, post secret can always give you a laugh. The guy obviously didn't get the memo.
This was a really cool morning. I went to youth group, and then switched it up a bit and tagged along with Ryan to superstition springs. What I loved most about the service was that it was all about the love for your mother, really. There wasn't a catch, or eye candy, it was tugging of the heart strings. The pastor's mother stood up there and went through each of her kids and discussed how her son, the pastor of the church, lead her to Christ when he was about 14 i believe. It was really cool, actually. The part that stuck with me most was when she said that she'd asked her kids "What do you remember most about your childhood." She said he kids never replied "The clean floors, the dirty dishes, cleaning the yard, mopping, sweeping, the windows, the clean bathrooms..." or in other words, the things she really cared about. She said that her kids would always respond "Walking in the rain, the conversations, when we played chutes and ladders for hours on end..." It made me wonder what kind of father i'll be. I realize neither of my parents had even close to a decent childhood, and I can't blame them for reacting the way they do to things now. But i think that when I become a parent, the best way I'll remember to raise my kids is through the way God loves me, right? Sure, God searches the world for a creation that best reflects his love for us, but I think the mothers (and fathers?) got it from Him first. I realize now I'm stealing the glory of mothers day by putting in the father figure bits. haha!
Later in the service, the pastor brought up the name of a group on the ASU east campus called House of Refuge, almost like a bigger version of Hope House (check out both of those), and instead of giving a gift to all of the mothers in the room, all of the mother who have struggled with abuse or poverty were given new beds, a place to sleep. Not just old ones, or donated ones, but new ones. I think that's a great encouragement to someone who wants to turn their life around. I couldn't imagine even would I'd be like if I slept on the floor everyday...
Haha, but anyways, I'm going to go spend time with my mother now! Happy mothers day
oh, and 27 days until Hume!
Thursday, May 8, 2008
This Weeks Update...With Tina Fey and Amy Pohler?
I started a twitter, follow me there. I'm also looking for a different seat to find myself in this sunday. I wouldn't call it bailing, most likely because I'll stay. I realize that I've only been to one church, and I haven't seen what many other churches are all about. Ryan suggested Superstition, some friends go to East Valley, there's a small family church at the school across the street from my house. I'll see. I understand I'm supposed to pray for my church, and be a leader, but I'm so drained from where I am. It's like I need to fuel myself up before I becoming the big aircraft that feeds to the little other aircrafts, and where I am isn't filling me up so well. I guess I'm just looking for conversation, really. It's like I don't feel like I can teach others to grow and set an example when I'm not growing myself. Make me uncomfortable, teach me something I haven't heard before. Show me a side of a story I haven't heard.
In regards to the re-fueling, i kind of switched house groups wednesday. It was like a conversation with myself the past few months, and It really made the whole thing unenjoyable really. I don't get why people are scared, why people are silent. Maybe they're just taking it all in, but no one speaks a word! So I'm with Allan Firman now. My spirits were really raised when he asked "so, what do you guys have questions about". I was like whaaa? I didn't have a question on the spot, and I'm almost afraid he'll get tired of me coming with a list of questions each week. But I plan to move back to Jason's group eventually, although there's only like 2 more weeks of house groups. Then everyone is graduating
Other than that, my grades are super good, so I'm excited. There are 19 days left until summer, and 29 until hume lake. And here you are, glowing sun....
>
In regards to the re-fueling, i kind of switched house groups wednesday. It was like a conversation with myself the past few months, and It really made the whole thing unenjoyable really. I don't get why people are scared, why people are silent. Maybe they're just taking it all in, but no one speaks a word! So I'm with Allan Firman now. My spirits were really raised when he asked "so, what do you guys have questions about". I was like whaaa? I didn't have a question on the spot, and I'm almost afraid he'll get tired of me coming with a list of questions each week. But I plan to move back to Jason's group eventually, although there's only like 2 more weeks of house groups. Then everyone is graduating
Other than that, my grades are super good, so I'm excited. There are 19 days left until summer, and 29 until hume lake. And here you are, glowing sun....
>
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Fire, Burning Me Up
Had an awfully nice weekend. Cleaned a lot yesterday, gave my dog a bath, opened up alllll of the windows in the house, and just took a breather. I realize I take a lot of those, but take them for granted. Slaves don't get weekends, breaks, or summer vacations.
I hung out with Ryan Guard again yesterday. It's always nice seeing him! Took a trip to barnes and noble and i awkwardly enjoyed an unsweetened passion tea! Haha. We got on the subject of books, and belief, and where I should work. By the way, I'd like your input, where could you see me working? :) I realized the importance of books, but my memory isn't all the dependable. Comprehension is something big I need to work on, and I got a D in Comprehension on the AIMS, the only part I did not exceed on! So, I picked up a cheap $5 journal from Ross today, and started over on the irresistible revolution. Jotted down some vocab words and did the questions, thoughts, opinions, and such cornell style. It took me about 45 minutes to annotate 15 pages, so I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong, or just being uber picky about what I write. Maybe I'll speed up, or maybe it's good that I'm not reading the book so fast. I've just got a lot to get through, and I don't see how I'm going to finish this one by summer!
If anyone really does read this:
Do you write down everything you read? Why is it important to you? How do you go about it?
3 Weeks left of School,
Chris
I hung out with Ryan Guard again yesterday. It's always nice seeing him! Took a trip to barnes and noble and i awkwardly enjoyed an unsweetened passion tea! Haha. We got on the subject of books, and belief, and where I should work. By the way, I'd like your input, where could you see me working? :) I realized the importance of books, but my memory isn't all the dependable. Comprehension is something big I need to work on, and I got a D in Comprehension on the AIMS, the only part I did not exceed on! So, I picked up a cheap $5 journal from Ross today, and started over on the irresistible revolution. Jotted down some vocab words and did the questions, thoughts, opinions, and such cornell style. It took me about 45 minutes to annotate 15 pages, so I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong, or just being uber picky about what I write. Maybe I'll speed up, or maybe it's good that I'm not reading the book so fast. I've just got a lot to get through, and I don't see how I'm going to finish this one by summer!
If anyone really does read this:
Do you write down everything you read? Why is it important to you? How do you go about it?
3 Weeks left of School,
Chris
Friday, May 2, 2008
Hooky Hooky Hooky
Slept in, nice and long today.
Parents allowed me to stay home from school.
Don't let them know i had 2 quizzes!
Went to the DMV, too. Didn't seem like a happy place.
Lots of people yelling, and upset, and waiting impatiently.
Then i got my license...
kidding.
I got my permit...
handbook.
So i can study for my permit! which i should be able to get in 31 days!
Went to Tempe Marker Place to see Raining & OK play.
I new friend Stephen is the bassist, and i hung out with Keira, Ryan, Kevin, Hallie, and some from Goodnight Darling.
I also saw Travis one last time before he left to Cali to see his family.
I'm not sure how i'll handle the next time I see him before it's 4 months.
Things generally don't hit me until I'm standing in the room, saying goodbye to someone.
Tread lightly, breathe deeply, and there go the water works...some of you know what I'm talking about! ;)
Went with Ryan to drop off Hallie, who got us completely lost on Van Buren, but it was a good ride home.
I haven't seen that kid in a while, with all of his band stuff going on.
On a freakier note, have you ever wondered if Satan really tries to scare you? Or, i don't know, make you feel weird? The devil's number is 666, right?
For example, Alex DeWitte got my a piñata for Valentine day. I chopped the head off to get to the candy, and the silk boxers with hearts on them! Thank you alex. Then, a few days ago, i put it in the top of my closet shelf. A piece of the newspaper hung was sticking out, and it was the first 3 digits of a phone number, 999 upside-down, reading 666. Yesteryday, I was going a problem in math, and constantly, I got the answer 666, and realized I was off by a digit. Now, for the weirdest, i started my 365 project, and my view have been going up and down like a roller coaster. Guess what todays view number was?
Spooky! Or I'm just bored.
I might be seeing Ryan Guard tomorrow! And I have the rest of the weekend ahead. I think i'll wake up early tomorrow and get a good morning, start.
It's funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive.
Singing of His love for me,
Chris
Parents allowed me to stay home from school.
Don't let them know i had 2 quizzes!
Went to the DMV, too. Didn't seem like a happy place.
Lots of people yelling, and upset, and waiting impatiently.
Then i got my license...
kidding.
I got my permit...
handbook.
So i can study for my permit! which i should be able to get in 31 days!
Went to Tempe Marker Place to see Raining & OK play.
I new friend Stephen is the bassist, and i hung out with Keira, Ryan, Kevin, Hallie, and some from Goodnight Darling.
I also saw Travis one last time before he left to Cali to see his family.
I'm not sure how i'll handle the next time I see him before it's 4 months.
Things generally don't hit me until I'm standing in the room, saying goodbye to someone.
Tread lightly, breathe deeply, and there go the water works...some of you know what I'm talking about! ;)
Went with Ryan to drop off Hallie, who got us completely lost on Van Buren, but it was a good ride home.
I haven't seen that kid in a while, with all of his band stuff going on.
On a freakier note, have you ever wondered if Satan really tries to scare you? Or, i don't know, make you feel weird? The devil's number is 666, right?
For example, Alex DeWitte got my a piñata for Valentine day. I chopped the head off to get to the candy, and the silk boxers with hearts on them! Thank you alex. Then, a few days ago, i put it in the top of my closet shelf. A piece of the newspaper hung was sticking out, and it was the first 3 digits of a phone number, 999 upside-down, reading 666. Yesteryday, I was going a problem in math, and constantly, I got the answer 666, and realized I was off by a digit. Now, for the weirdest, i started my 365 project, and my view have been going up and down like a roller coaster. Guess what todays view number was?
Spooky! Or I'm just bored.
I might be seeing Ryan Guard tomorrow! And I have the rest of the weekend ahead. I think i'll wake up early tomorrow and get a good morning, start.
It's funny how you find you enjoy your life when you're happy to be alive.
Singing of His love for me,
Chris
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Like A Zoologist Loves Baboons
Today was nice!
I got a 96% on my math test,
and I have the best grades I've had all year.
I read some of, actually more like 2 pages, or Mere Christianity at school during conference.
C.S. Lewis is so intricate with his words and I have to re-read the page thoroughly once or twice to understand the point he's making, or even flip back the page because his details go on for so long.
I gave the book for a friend to borrow later today, and I had only read it because I had nothing better to do.
I can't wait to read it though! I'm so behind on a bunch of books I need to give back to friends, and I have a list of ones I still need to order.
Yesterday, I started this project called 365. Check that link out for more, but basically, as conceited as it sounds, I have to try to take a picture of myself a day for a year, and not repeat the same image. It seems difficult, and I think I'd like the challenge.
Check out what I've got so far by clicking the picture of my second day below. It'll take you to my photo stream.
Searching for God knows what,
Chris
I got a 96% on my math test,
and I have the best grades I've had all year.
I read some of, actually more like 2 pages, or Mere Christianity at school during conference.
C.S. Lewis is so intricate with his words and I have to re-read the page thoroughly once or twice to understand the point he's making, or even flip back the page because his details go on for so long.
I gave the book for a friend to borrow later today, and I had only read it because I had nothing better to do.
I can't wait to read it though! I'm so behind on a bunch of books I need to give back to friends, and I have a list of ones I still need to order.
Yesterday, I started this project called 365. Check that link out for more, but basically, as conceited as it sounds, I have to try to take a picture of myself a day for a year, and not repeat the same image. It seems difficult, and I think I'd like the challenge.
Check out what I've got so far by clicking the picture of my second day below. It'll take you to my photo stream.
Searching for God knows what,
Chris
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