These next two weeks will be a pain

It's currently 2 AM and this is my new sleep schedule my body is being adjusted to
In 16 days I'll have to be sure that I can make myself awake by 6 because I'm taking a zero hour class this upcoming year. I don't always know what I'm working for, or why I plan on putting so much effort into this, but I guess work, regardless of the matter, is good for rounding out your edges.

Life hasn't been bad. I've been reading a lot lately. Reading for school, reading for wisdom, and reading just for the sake of good authors with no purpose besides just writing itself. And In all of this I've been taking notes and trying to become better at memorizing but I realize my sleeping habits aren't helping, so I have to review several times a day.

I don't always know what I want to remember when I read, so in result I write down more than I think I should. I don't know what it's doing for me now, but I hope that sometime in the near future these notes will become more useful. And sometimes the inability to just remember off the bat is frustrating and inconvenient when reflecting things. I never pick up on little details, just the story in general.

I guess it's all just having some kind of clever side I guess. Dallas Willard talks about cleverness in his book The Divine Conspiracy. It was convicting when I read it, but realized God wired all of us to want to be something more.

I hope I'm doing the right thing in my life right now. Goly, I think everybody is thinking that. In my head it's "prepare now, serve later" but I don't think I'll ever be fully prepared, and they're always be a need that needs to be served, regardless of who I am or what it is. I think I get wrapped up elsewhere. C.S. Lewis said "If Satan can't steal your soul, he'll give you meaningless work to do instead". I hope I'm not doing meaningless work.

It's a hard parade, just be courageous