Sunday, October 19, 2008

It's hard to identify

if the things put on my heart are placed by God or by Satan:

Either
1. Satan is using them to distract me, or
2. if God has given me a vision/goal in which I should seek to meet.

There is something so set in my heart right now, something I wish that I could be doing. And I hope, when my age comes, I would be allowed to do so, because it would only allow me to grow in my relationship with Christ. Sometimes I even become jealous of others who get to experience such things. And I only hope that I'd get to experience it.

And I guess what I'm really worried about is if it doesn't happen. Rather, if I do something that would cause it NOT to happen.

In other words, I'm overly conscious about my thoughts and actions because I feel like if I do something wrong, or say something wrong, it'll only prevent what God has set on my heart from happening. And not only what's set on my heart, but his plans for me that I don't know about, and might not until they approach if they do so.

A lot of it may be the recent absence of time with God in my life, and the lack of knowledge from the bible, but I've been getting back into the word, into books, into meditation on Him. And, I'd like to hear what you'd have to say about the situation.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's so how I'm feeling right now. really. What is this thing so set in your heart? I'd love to hear more. :)

steve patton said...

Hi Chris,

I am commenting a little late on this post so I am not even sure if you are still going through this struggle in your life. But you asked for comments so I thought I would share a thought.
First off, getting back into God's word is the first best thing. And I would suggest God's word alone. This is the perfect book written by God Himself and its He who wants us to turn to Him in our struggles but also everyday. When we are struggling or not. I was going through a struggle similar to what sounds like yours. I was thinking too much on some things and just got my mind going. I wasn't sure what was happening. Whether this was Satan testing me or the Lord's discipline. But the thing I kept on doing was reading. We are also to examine ourselves. And truly the only way to do that is to read the Scriptures and God will shred light on where we are struggling and teach us how to overcome. So is there anything interesting that you have read lately that has helped you through this in the word?

Steve

Anonymous said...

I just read a book called The Perks of Being a Wallflower. You sound a lot like the main character, Charlie, to me...